CHAARG Podcast Episode

I’m talking astrology, seeing ghosts, spiritual practices, best thing I’ve ever done for myself, stepping into your truth, following passions, building a business while working full time... all of the things... check it out!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-chaarg-podcast/id1250202455?mt=2&i=1000431602932&fbclid=IwAR2LYQBC-RWz-1ujhjh2Utvdd-oLzv78FxtDFEbGZtaLqfLb_53Hy_dGEHY

Best Basic Ways To Utilize Your Birth Chart

Understanding your birth chart may feel like learning a whole new language – it’s confusing as heck! The easiest way to grasp is by thinking of your birth chart as a screen shot of the sky when you were born. What constellations (zodiac signs) the planets were in at that moment become your personal planetary placements. Based on the exact time you are born is how to know what zodiac sign starts your chart – which then dictates what houses of your chart these planets fall into. Find out a break down of this in one of my previous blog posts here -- Understanding The Houses:

themodernastrologer.com/news/2018/11/20/natal-chart-explained-houses.

I try my best on my Instagram to explain where each transit is happening so that everyone can find it in their charts to see where it is impacting them the most. “Transits” are what the planets are doing CURRENTLY in the sky. Transits are always moving while your birth chart is always the same and doesn’t change. Once you get to know your own chart, you can then layer it with what’s happening currently. For example – If Mercury is about to be retrograding in the sign of Libra and you know that Libra is your personal third house in your chart, you then can prepare for the effects of that transit (In this case, Mercury retrograding) in the third house by looking up “Mercury retrograde in the third house”. This will give you a much more precise explanation of how this will impact you and advice on how to utilize this energy to your advantage – rather then the typical “Oh, Mercury is retrograding, everything is gonna go cray!”. Certain transits can be totally helpful in one house and then frustrating in another – so it isn’t a one size fits all impact. If you are a visual learner you can check out this (super scrappy) youtube I made to help explain finding things in your chart -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPWMziCMRow&t=346s

The houses, planets and signs are tough to comprehend as a whole and transits are as well. My advice is to just start with one thing, grasp it and then keep going. So, instead of learning what all of these things mean I will break down some fun things to know that are simple to find and will help you move through life.  Head over to https://www.astrotheme.com/ to input your birth info to get your chart. You can hover your mouse and click on each placement for info.

Here are a few great starting points to learn about your self as well as those close to you:

·      Rising sign – (this one you will have to know your exact time of birth to find. If you do not know/have access to this, skip this.) Our rising sign, also called the “ascendant”, is the zodiac sign that is at the beginning of our birth chart. It is the first impression that we give off to people and how we take on life. It is a very big part of our personality as well as our physical appearance and mannerisms. For example, I can usually spot a Gemini rising because they are immediately very chatty, social, distracted, etc. It becomes the sign we expose at all times.

·      Sun Sign - everyone knows his or her “sign” but in astrology this is called the sun sign. The constellation/zodiac sign that the sun was in when you were born. Yes, your sun sign is a big part or your personality; it is our conscious self, our purpose. Think of it as our basic identity.

·      Moon sign – the moon represents our subconscious self, our emotional personality. It rules our needs, instincts, and reactions, how we handle and express stress/sadness/vulnerability/love. It is the part of us that perhaps only the people who we trust and can be vulnerable with can see in us. Find what sign your moon is in – this is the personality that is innately who we are deep down. It also tells a lot about our love language.

·      Venus sign – Venus represents love, money, creativity and things we enjoy. Look to what sign your Venus falls in to get a big glimpse into your love language and how you show love. For example – a Venus in Taurus may want to cook/snuggle/be cozy in high quality blankets with a nice glass of wine while a Venus in Virgo may prefer their partners to do something practical like walk the dog, pick up coffee on their way home for them type of thing. It’s important to know your Venus sign so that you are able to express what you need in love and explain how you show love. A Taurus Venus person may be frustrated and want to share time over a lovely meal at home or out but may not realize that their Virgo Venus partner is totally showing their love by running errands for them. Once you both see each other’s way of showing love, you can start to compromise and express your needs better.

·      Mercury sign  - Mercury represents our communication style and our logical mind. It’s how we learn, and express ideas. A Mercury in Aires person may be blunt and direct with their communication, while a Mercury in Cancer may feel out the situation first and communicate accordingly. No way of communicating is wrong. What gets tricky though is when we communicate in an opposite way then another person and then place blame on them for not doing it our way. This happens a lot in relationships of all kinds. It is a very useful tool if you can find out what sign your boss/colleague’s/partner’s/family member’s Mercury falls. Let’s flip it around and try to communicate to others how they best take in facts. Empathy, people, empathy.

·      Lastly, (if you do happen to have your exact time of birth), finding out what house these above planets fall in your birth chart is taking it one step further. For example what house the sun falls in your chart is important for finding out where our personalities shine the most – what lights us up. It’s where we seek to express ourselves the most.

Astrology can be such a fabulous tool for us to gain self-awareness. For example, if your moon sign is very different then your sun sign, it will be a great “a-ha” moment and explain things like how you could be so chill/easy going with friends and colleagues (sun) yet touchy and nitpicky with family and partners (moon – how we are with people we trust and are vulnerable with). Astrology is also just as fabulous to use as a way to help understand others and how they operate so that we can meet each other half way. Basically, Astrology can change the world…ha, jk …but seriously?

 

Favorite Spiritual Recourses + Healers You Should Know

It’s funny how that when we really tap into what we personally need – the universe keeps delivering more and more of it to us. The tricky part is getting clear on what that is for us. With the overwhelming amount of “try this”, “read this” coming at us at all times, it can be hard to know which things resonate with us directly or it it’s just another thing we add to our ever-growing spiritual/health toolkit that get’s buried after a few weeks of attention. The key is self-awareness - which, I think, is the single best gift we can give to ourselves. And that is, in a nutshell, what Astrology gives us. Our birth charts are our personal blue prints. It shows how we take on life, how we emotionally react to things, how we show and receive love, how we communicate and take in information – and how all of these things can be very different from each other. It also shows what we are good at and what we aren't so good at (and why!).

 

A lot of what we are conditioned to do is to perfect the things we are not so great at in order to raise up to a certain standard. What we should actually be doing is focusing only on what we are naturally great at and leave the things we suck at to the people who excel in those things. When we focus on being better at the things that aren’t naturally “us”, we are then taken out of the flow that the universe is wanting us to master. Here’s the secret – life should be enjoyable. When we do what we are good at and continue to get better at those things, we gain things like confidence, the ability to help other people, a sense of purpose, etc. And that, my friends, is when the universe will continue to reward us with more and more momentum and joy. So, if you do the work to get to know yourself and become bold enough to live in that truth, the next step is to trust. Trust that more opportunities will show up in many ways for you to continue on the path.

 

At this moment in my life, I am receiving so many “pings”, opportunities and connections and the more that I trust and react to these things, the more they are showing up. Since almost everything that has helped me has shown up for me through things like blogs, podcasts, articles or specifically recommended to me through others, I do want to provide you guys a list in hopes that it will also help you. But I don’t want you to just take my advice on these recommendations and then fall into the spiritual/self help ADD that I have succumbed to in the past. Instead, listen to your gut when you read about them and see if it resonates with you in this moment – if not, move along! Below is a breakdown of a few people & places (there are so many but these are my FAVES) that have inspired/ helped/ healed/expanded me (this list is always growing!)– do any resonate with something you need right now?

 

·       Lacy Phillips (remote) of To Be Magnetic https://tobemagnetic.com/ - Lacy pairs manifestation with a nice dose of psychology. She teaches that in order to manifest we first have to take a deep look at our subconscious programming. We need to subconsciously believe, through what she calls “expanders” (people that we see ourselves in that currently have what we are trying to manifest) that we can and deserve to have these things. She explains how self worth equates to manifestation and we do that by stepping into our truth. She offers many online courses you can take remotely.

·      Jenna Zoe (remote) of  https://www.jennazoe.com/ - This is the gal that has inspired me to learn Human Design. She breaks it down in such a modern way. Getting to know my Human Design was a big “ah-ha” moment for me. For the first time, the idea of how I am personally supposed to move through life, clicked. It is a combo of the Hindu chakras, the Chinese iChing, conventional astrology and the kabbalistic Tree of Life. Jenna has remote offerings on her site but you’ll want to first pull up your HD chart at https://www.mybodygraph.com/talking-bodygraph to find out your design.

·      Human Garage (Los Angeles) https://www.humangarage.net/ Where do I start? I could cry. For me, my main priority lately has been my physical body. I have done all of the work on mental, spiritual as well as my health routines but my body simply is not responding.  I’ve been down the arduous path of being ignored by doctors, paying out of pocket for tests and trying to be my own advocate. I have chronic pain, weight gain, digestive issues, inflammation, and energy issues – the whole shebang. The minute I had my consult at the Human Garage all of my issues were honed in on without me even mentioning them. Then, I was told how they are all connected. It was finally all tied together for me. I was literally told that my body is holding on to past trauma and even though I have healed these things, the body still holds them.  (I need a separate post just for this I think – soooo much to type). This place encapsulates everything that I was looking for and it’s all under one roof.  My mom is a physical therapist and I have always needed a lot of work on my body – hello, getting run over by a car as well as many other injuries like chronic TMJ from a softball to the jaw.  So, even though I am into all things Eastern medicine – I do really see the need for the Western/scientific approach to injuries and I like how the Human Garage still used these scientific approaches. Then there’s my love for spiritual and energy healing like reiki, acupuncture, craniosacral, fascia work, etc. They do this too. Nutritionists, lab tests and supplement protocols tailored to you? Check, check! Add in some “woo-woo” vibes of channeling while getting adjusted and you have the Human Garage. This is one of those places where you will be spending a wild amount of money at – the type of money that for me was a huge investment. But what better thing to invest in then your health?

·      Sat Nam Yoga (Chicago)  https://www.satnamyogachicago.com/ - this isn’t your average vynassa yoga studio, so be prepared for a much more “woo-woo” vibe. I found Sat Nam when I was first dabbling in the spiritual world. My favorite thing they offer is the 1st Friday Healing Circle. On the 1st Friday of each month, starting at 6pm, they have a room full of healers with different modalities that you can have quick 15min sessions with. What I love about this is the ability to feel out who resonates with you. Your friend’s favorite Reiki healer could be off-putting to you… and you wouldn’t know it until you’re already lying awkwardly on a table, vulnerable and forking out a lot of money. I have found amazing people that I have booked sessions with from here. It’s $15 to get in and then you tip the healers for your mini sessions throughout the night. Make sure you get there early because they use a sign-up sheet method and they tend to fill up quickly! I also love their new & full moon Kundalini ceremonies… bc, moons. Although, this may be a bit woo-woo for the spiritual dabblers.

·      The Ruby Room (Chicago) https://www.rubyroom.com/ This space has the best vibes. Even if you don’t check them out for a treatment, check out there shop if you can bc it’s adorbs. I have been here for a BioMat session. Okay, also, TMI… but I have done colonics twice here. They are not fun. But this space is wonderful and the practitioners make you comfortable… as comfortable as one can be with a tube up the pooper. I am currently working through some digestive issues and toxicity issues and while colon hydrotherapy has a lot of mixed opinions, it has helped me. I’ve only gone 2x in 4years… bc it’s not my ideal, enjoyable version of self care - but if you have ever considered it, I recommend trying this place out. I mean, or you could like get a massage here instead? Ha J

·      Cindy of Revealing Soul (Chicago + remote) https://www.revealingsoul.com/ - Cindy takes and interprets the ever instagramable aura photos. You can book sessions with her or catch her at one of the many pop-ups that she has going on at the moment. Cindy also channels and is a medium. Her skills are mind blowing and she is also so sweet, fun and approachable. Hey, if I am going to talk to dead people, I definitely want it to be with someone I feel like myself around and that speaks to my vibes. I’ve done Cindy’s chart for her and I can vouch – gal has the gift!

·      Rachel of Totem (Chicago) https://www.totemreadings.com/ - Rachel is hilarious AF. I have seen her for Tarot and have been to her Shamanic Journey sessions. I met my spirit animal, ya’ll. It’s an elk btw. She is sassy but also very mystical – the shamanic journeys may be a bit “out there” for spiritual dabblers.

·      Sean Reeves Gary (Chicago) myofascial massage/release - Sean is so lovely and calming and you can tell he really cares about what he does. You can find him through https://www.satnamyogachicago.com/healers. While a myofascial massage feels super light and not like a typical massage, I have found more tension release from them. Fascia is the thin connective tissue that surrounds our muscles and connects all of our bodies’ tissues. We hold a lot of trauma and stress here so prepare for a spiritual/emotional release! If you are having a lot of physical pain – start here. The mind body connection is real, y’all.

·      Nico (remote) of http://www.integrativemysticism.com/ - Nico is a Tarot wizard. He also has a combo reading of astrology & tarot. He’s blunt, sweet, and smart as heck. I found him on YouTube and love to watch his weekly readings for each sign (remember to always watch for your RISING sign!). He is in Seattle so he does Skype readings. I have made all of my friends and family book readings with him. I am a pusher sometimes, ha!

·      John Wineland (remote) https://www.johnwineland.com/ - John’s teachings about intimacy and the masculine/feminine are so enlightening. Just find podcasts  he’s been featured on and prepared to be like “Oh shit, YES! This makes sense!”

·      Kosmic Konnection (remote) Palm readings https://www.kosmickonnection.com/- Kat Anders and her son, Anthony. I like how they tie the body/health into readings, specifically the spine. Kat has Masters in Health Education and she found the correlation of the spine in the palm. I have a lot of injuries so this was particularly fascinating to me. You can get cheap palm readings on the street pretty much in any city and yes those are fun… but usually are done by people who take advantage money wise and have a dark vibe – “will clear your aura for $50 more dollars”, etc. If you can see a great and trusty palm reader in person that would be best but as far as remote/digital offerings – this is the best I have found!

 

Apps that I love:

·      For Astrology :

1.     Time Passages (free) – I use this everyday

2.     Co-Star (free) - this has too much wording for me as an Astrologer but great for the astro-curious

3.     Future Life ($10/mo)– The Leo King’s app. This one costs a pretty penny but he is a fabulous Astrologer who I definitely recommend. He puts out a video EVERY DAY about the energy and transits of the day.

·      Other :

1.     Tarot&Numerology by Phuture Me Ltd. (free) – Numerology & Tarot for the year/week/day and you can skip around to certain dates.

2.     Ovia (free) to track your lady cycles for insights into hormone health. Yes this is an app for those trying to get preggo, but I have found it very insightful at tracking my health.

3.     Headspace for Meditation (free) – I think we all know about this one

 

 

Books that I love:

Can y’all tell by my podcast that I don’t read many books to completion, or at all? Lol. Pretty much anything I read is about metaphysics, or practices I am learning – not so much for entertainment. A few books that do stick out to me that I have actually completed and also feel shifted me, rather then repeated things back that I have already heard, are:

·      Spirit Babies – yep, this is the title. Haha. Basically it’s about how before we have babies, their spirits pick us and hang around in our auras until we are ready. Great for anyone who has experienced miscarriages, abortions, trouble getting pregnant, questions about adoption - or if you are like me and are simply curious about how we choose the life we are born into.

·      Untethered Soul – the book that happened to click for me about how we are not our thoughts, we are the observer of our thoughts and we can separate the two. There are many out there with similar messages but this was my “soulmate” book.

·      Wired for Love – wow. I found out that I am an “Island”, y’all. Read this book if you are curious about your relationship patterns. Couples should read this together and singles should read this to better prepare for a future relationship - IMO.

·      Medical Medium’s books – are y’all celery juicin’??

 

Documentaries / shows that I love:

·      HEAL (Netflix)

·      Explained: Astrology episode (Netflix)

·      Super Soul Sunday – I LIVE for this show, ugh. (OWN)

·      Kumare - thanks for the rec, Elisabeth! (Amazon Prime)

·      I Am Not Your Guru, Tony Robins (Netflix)

 

 

I hope some of these recommendations help you on your spiritual journey! Please share with me about any cool people/places I should know about, too!

 

How I learned Astrology & am learning Human Design

I often get asked how I got into Astrology & how I went about learning it. Now that I’m learning (obsessed with) Human Design, I can try to explain.


How I am teaching myself Human Design is how I taught myself Astrology - I like to compare it to leaning an instrument. Anyone can learn how to do it. But heck y’all, when I tried to learn guitar, it didn’t come naturally to me, it was frustrating, and the amount of time and effort it would have taken to learn - I just didn’t have the desire, patience and passion to do so. So with things like Astrology, Human Design, fill in the blank, it needs to be a combo of natural ability, intuition, desire to learn, obsession/passion, & dedication to finding time to do so. But hint, hint, when you have the others, finding time is easy bc you enjoy it so much!


Many people also ask what sources I used to learn. With the way that my mind learns, unfortunately I don’t have a direct answer or a list of books I read - I just followed my curiosity down the rabbit hole in a non-linear way. I started with Vedic Astrology, which I still incorporate, before moving over to Western Astrology. (Funny how my grandmother did Western Astrology and it eventually became much more “me” then Vedic). I would post myself up in coffee shops on nights and weekends watching/pausing/ taking notes to YouTubes and studying charts of people I knew to lock in the knowledge. I learn new skills to this day, almost 4 years later, and am just as obsessed with learning as I was when I began. Which has never happened with any other hobby that I’ve picked up (as a Manifesting Generator and a Gemini Moon - I pick up A LOT of hobbies BUT that’s part of my design and I am supposed to do that!). I guess that’s when you know it’s meant to be.


Yes, there are expensive courses out there for both Astrology and Human Design (and this structure may be perfect for the way you need to learn) but I learn simply by being curious about a random part and diving deep into that, rather then a streamlined learn this, then that, type of way. Although likely a longer process, I get to understand it in my own way and relay it to clients in my own voice which in return, I hope, makes it more relatable and digestible. Hence the “modern” in my name. That, and I have so many god damn retro planets in my chart, I have to learn in a less practical way .


Although I am no expert, you guys can now add a Human Design mini reading to any of my offerings for $20 if you want to know more! Or check out @jennazoe who is an expert and who is my inspiration! I’m thinking about adding a page on my website that has all the healers/teachers/locations/products/podcasts that I am obsessed with & recommend- would y’all want that?

Later taters,

LOC

Natal chart explained - Houses

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Our birth chart is a circle that is separated into 12 sections, kind of like slices of pie. Each slice represents an area of our life - these are called our “Houses”. Each house is ruled by a zodiac sign and there are 12 of those as well.

Think of the signs as the vibe/characteristics/personality that color the houses and how you approach that area of your life. The signs are always in the same order for everyone’s chart (Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces) but your time of birth will dictate which sign starts your chart. The start to your chart is called your Rising Sign or Ascendant Sign. Your Rising Sign is the beginning of your 1st House which kicks off your natal birth chart wheel. The houses go counterclockwise from 1-12. So, if your rising sign is Cancer for example, then your chart will still keep the same order as I mentioned but start with Cancer (Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, etc). Each sign is exactly 30 degrees long but some of our houses can be bigger or smaller then 30 degrees. Because of this, we can have a couple zodiac signs falling into one house. Even if there are a couple signs falling in a house, you always look to the sign that is at the beginning of the house (this is called the House Cusp) to see which sign “rules” that area of your life.

The planets are all in specific signs in the sky when you are born. So, once you find out your Rising Sign, you can see what house in your natal chart that each of those planets fall in. This will bring those planet’s meanings into your houses. Each planet represents a specific part of our personality so finding our what area of life (what house) they fall in will be a big part of how we use that part of our personalities.

While this post is focused on our natal charts, I have to mention that the houses are also very important for predicting events. Your natal chart never changes but the sky is always changing. So, you can take what is happening in the sky currently and line it up with your chart to see how the current sky is effecting you and where in your life (what house) you will be feeling their impacts and outcomes that can happen. These are called transits. More on those separately but this helps explain why each house has so many meanings - many of which may be strange to hear if simply interpreting our charts as our “make - up”.

Below are my quick explanations of what each house rules in our lives:

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Scout and Birdie Issue IV: Sunburnt

In this issue of the Scout & Birdie podcast I chat about combust planets in the birth chart after I read a poem that I wrote that was inspired by combust Venus in a chart. Catch me at 50:35 - 1:02 chatting about these things as well as how I got into Astrology and what inspires me about it. Enjoy!

Dark Deep Side - An astrology inspired poem turned song collab

I had so much fun collaborating on this! The 2nd issue of Scout & Birdie podcast features a compilation of fab artists who's submissions surround the theme of "Messy". I teamed up with my dear friend, Carolyn, to create a song from one of my poems.

In the podcast, link below, you'll hear about the inspiration behind this one and see how the poem evolved into a song:

https://www.scoutandbirdie.com/dark-deep-side-by-lauren-oconnell-carolyn-molloy

A little back story on how it came to be...

Carolyn and I were not able to sit down and focus on this together until hours before the deadline -- procrastinate much? Hey, it's the artist's way, right? We were throwing around some ideas for which poem to use. We had been working on a different poem of mine that just didn't fit with the theme. We were rummaging through my poems and then all of the sudden I got stuck on this one. The second Carolyn picked up the guitar, it just came out of her. I was sitting across from her with a huge smile and silently, not to throw her off, thrusting my fist in the air, (I am a great "Hype Man", ya'll) and knew it was the one.

I am always in awe of musicians because I have zero musical talent. This is probably my one life regret -- I quickly quit piano lessons for sports when I was a kid and while I can throw a baseball better then most of my guy friends, I can't exactly entertain guests with it in my living room. I digress. So, Carolyn immediately spewed out the first and second verse (hello, talent) and said that we needed to pick a bridge and chorus. "Umm, sure, sure --what's a bridge?" I said. Ha! Seriously, not musical. I knew I loved the "climb up my ups..." part as the chorus. I at least knew the chorus was the part of the song that repeats, guys. She crafted the bridge and she was the one that found the focus of the song -- the "dark deep side" which also ended up being the title.

Some changes from poem to song...

"Deep dark side" got switched to "dark deep side" -- a small change but Carolyn sang it this way and it just seemed more captivating. The poem had the word philosophize in it (a big theme of Jupiter) but it just didn't sound pretty and it's a hard word to fit in a song. Unless you are the freaking musical unicorn, Kishi Bashi. So, we played around with that part of the song for a bit and settled on "take me for a ride" to keep up with the sexual theme of the verse and having the protagonist putting the partner in control of this part. Another change we had to make was breaking up the line "dare you to show me your secrets" into "dare you to show me, show me your secrets" for flow. Those, and a lot of added repetition of words by Carolyn that really makes it what it is.

I view this poem/song as a twisted but sexy back and forth game/challenge between two people. It is sassy AF. It was fun to write about something like this. The protagonist is a little bit of a "Mess" (theme) but is in total control of it, owns that shit and views it as one of her greatest attributes. She knows her emotions are all over the place but challenges the partner to explore the depths of them, rather then most people I know, myself included, who may hide these attributes of ourselves. It's a total woman in power piece.

I am totally in love with the song and geek out every time I hear it. Bringing words to life with music is such a high and I am glad I have musical friends because I sure as hell couldn't do it. I love collaborating with Carolyn and can't wait to see what we do next. I learned a lot from this experience and hey, maybe I can even write in bridges and choruses into poems now!

How to strengthen your relationship on the deepest level using this love kriya.

What is a Kriya? The word kriya means action. It is an action that leads to a complete manifestation, a thought into actuality, a desire to commitment. In Kundalini Yoga a kriya is a series of postures, breath, and sound that work toward a specific outcome. Practicing a kriya initiates a sequence of physical and mental changes that affect the body, mind, and spirit simultaneously. (via 3HO.org)

I am calling this one the Love Kriya. It is a compilation of a few kriyas I've experienced in kundalini classes with a focus on the heart chakra followed by affirmations. These kriyas involve staring at a person across from you for a long period of time in silence. It has a profound way of connecting even two strangers, let alone two people who know and love each other. Most of us are familiar with the theory of staring into another person's eyes for just 4 minutes will connect them on a deeper level regardless of their relationship to each other. This can be awkward AF though, right? Yep. And I would argue that it may be even more uncomfortable, more vulnerable with the one you love - because they know you, there is no hiding behind a stranger's interpretation of you.

If you are in a relationship with someone special and want to connect on a deeper level then this is a great tool to develop a profound connection. Think of it as proactive therapy. Why wait for something to be wrong to try and connect to each other? Set the foundation while it's good! I do suggest that you make sure this is a significant person to you, not just a new fling that you don't fully know or trust yet. You will grow closer and you want to make sure this is the person you want that with. This isn't something you want to do with any ole guy or gal.

If you have been feeling disconnected from your partner and the verge of a split then this can undoubtedly save your connection. The catch is, you both have to fully give yourselves over to it and commit to taking it seriously and staying consistent. Also, when in a rut or fighting with each other, being physically close, vulnerable and staring into each other's eyes is probably the LAST thing you both want to do. BUT, if you both are willing to get uncomfortable and put your differences aside for less then 10 min a day, by the end of it you will likely find yourselves looking forward to this time. The tension will ease in your relationship and you will really see each other rather then past each other. Hopefully this grows into respect for each other, empathy and love.

Ready to try it out? I highly recommend to do the following naked-- the ultimate vulnerability. If it is just to weird, I feel y'all! This will still be very intense with or without being naked and maybe by the end you will try out the nakey-way :) Follow these steps:

  • Pick a comfortable place in a quiet room. The floor or on your bed are great spots. Make sure you will have 10 min of uninterrupted minutes. (Get down to your b-day suit if choosing to)

  • Sit with legs crossed, knees touching each other. If you find you have knee pain, don't feel like you have to sit uncomfortably the whole time -- just make sure your legs meet in some way.

  • Get a phone timer set to 5min.

  • Sit up straight and both of you reach your left arms out and place your left hands on your partner's left shoulder.

  • Raise your right arm in the air, above your head and interlock your hands with your partner's hand. Yes, this can get challenging to hold-- stick with it and stay strong. Once you fully relax into the process this will be easy and you won't even realize it.

  • One of you press start on the phone timer.

  • Hold a stare into each other's eyes for the full 5min. Do this straight faced, really try and see them, feel them, understand them. If you laugh, it's natural but jump back in to straight faced immediately. Breath deeply. You'll find that your breath syncs.

  • When the alarm goes off, (which may have felt like an eternity to newbies), immediately begin to say affirmations to each other, about each other, taking turns. Make these affirmations as specific and heartfelt as you can. Instead of "you are good at your job" say something more like "I admire your drive and passion with your work, I know you sacrifice a lot to make sure you provide for us and I appreciate it". Or instead of saying your partner is beautiful, pick out something rare about their beauty and describe it to them so they feel as beautiful as you see them. It is important to not have any expectations of your partner and their affirmations to you. Maybe one of you is better at this then the other and that's okay! Be grateful and meet them with respect. Try and do at least 3 each. Continue as long as you want.

  • You are finished! But are youuuu? You'll be surprised at how much of a turn on this can be ;) I recommend carving out more then 10min to make room for a little sexy time if it leads to it.

How did it feel? Awkward, peaceful, miserable, lovely, inspiring, make your skin crawl in disgust? Ha, all are fair and real to you. Discuss it with each other! If you felt on the awkward/miserable end then be respectful of your partners feelings and tell them gracefully. If you felt lovely and they felt the bad feels, meet their feelings with respect and let them voice them. The one feeling the discomfort is the one who needs to get in touch with themselves more, so do not think the disgust is with you, it lies in their own insecurities. You guys will get on the same page shortly! Keep at it!

If you both felt awesome, well then, HELL YEAH! You may even find that your partner started looking like you during it. This is good-- it means you are connecting with their true self and your souls were intertwined seeing each other as equals on the heart level instead of just the physical level.

The arm positions create a flow of energy between your two bodies. The right hands raised above your heads are connected the the higher frequency and your souls intertwine and move in a circle through that energy and into each other's through the left arms. You become one soul -- hence making sure this is someone you are sure you want to connect this way with.

The goal is to do this consecutively. Think of it as a juice cleans and commit to 3 days in a row to start. Maybe some of you meditate? Then think of this as meditating with your partner. There is always 10min to spare in a day. Relationships are sacrifice and this is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Also, if it could repair something you thought was destined to fail, you may be sad you didn't try it sooner. You can certainly add minutes to the 5 min and add affirmation time as well - the longer, the better! Get creative and make this unique to your relationship and hopefully it becomes something you both look forward to.

Happy love connecting to you all! Let me know how it went for you guys!