How to strengthen your relationship on the deepest level using this love kriya.

What is a Kriya? The word kriya means action. It is an action that leads to a complete manifestation, a thought into actuality, a desire to commitment. In Kundalini Yoga a kriya is a series of postures, breath, and sound that work toward a specific outcome. Practicing a kriya initiates a sequence of physical and mental changes that affect the body, mind, and spirit simultaneously. (via

I am calling this one the Love Kriya. It is a compilation of a few kriyas I've experienced in kundalini classes with a focus on the heart chakra followed by affirmations. These kriyas involve staring at a person across from you for a long period of time in silence. It has a profound way of connecting even two strangers, let alone two people who know and love each other. Most of us are familiar with the theory of staring into another person's eyes for just 4 minutes will connect them on a deeper level regardless of their relationship to each other. This can be awkward AF though, right? Yep. And I would argue that it may be even more uncomfortable, more vulnerable with the one you love - because they know you, there is no hiding behind a stranger's interpretation of you.

If you are in a relationship with someone special and want to connect on a deeper level then this is a great tool to develop a profound connection. Think of it as proactive therapy. Why wait for something to be wrong to try and connect to each other? Set the foundation while it's good! I do suggest that you make sure this is a significant person to you, not just a new fling that you don't fully know or trust yet. You will grow closer and you want to make sure this is the person you want that with. This isn't something you want to do with any ole guy or gal.

If you have been feeling disconnected from your partner and the verge of a split then this can undoubtedly save your connection. The catch is, you both have to fully give yourselves over to it and commit to taking it seriously and staying consistent. Also, when in a rut or fighting with each other, being physically close, vulnerable and staring into each other's eyes is probably the LAST thing you both want to do. BUT, if you both are willing to get uncomfortable and put your differences aside for less then 10 min a day, by the end of it you will likely find yourselves looking forward to this time. The tension will ease in your relationship and you will really see each other rather then past each other. Hopefully this grows into respect for each other, empathy and love.

Ready to try it out? I highly recommend to do the following naked-- the ultimate vulnerability. If it is just to weird, I feel y'all! This will still be very intense with or without being naked and maybe by the end you will try out the nakey-way :) Follow these steps:

  • Pick a comfortable place in a quiet room. The floor or on your bed are great spots. Make sure you will have 10 min of uninterrupted minutes. (Get down to your b-day suit if choosing to)

  • Sit with legs crossed, knees touching each other. If you find you have knee pain, don't feel like you have to sit uncomfortably the whole time -- just make sure your legs meet in some way.

  • Get a phone timer set to 5min.

  • Sit up straight and both of you reach your left arms out and place your left hands on your partner's left shoulder.

  • Raise your right arm in the air, above your head and interlock your hands with your partner's hand. Yes, this can get challenging to hold-- stick with it and stay strong. Once you fully relax into the process this will be easy and you won't even realize it.

  • One of you press start on the phone timer.

  • Hold a stare into each other's eyes for the full 5min. Do this straight faced, really try and see them, feel them, understand them. If you laugh, it's natural but jump back in to straight faced immediately. Breath deeply. You'll find that your breath syncs.

  • When the alarm goes off, (which may have felt like an eternity to newbies), immediately begin to say affirmations to each other, about each other, taking turns. Make these affirmations as specific and heartfelt as you can. Instead of "you are good at your job" say something more like "I admire your drive and passion with your work, I know you sacrifice a lot to make sure you provide for us and I appreciate it". Or instead of saying your partner is beautiful, pick out something rare about their beauty and describe it to them so they feel as beautiful as you see them. It is important to not have any expectations of your partner and their affirmations to you. Maybe one of you is better at this then the other and that's okay! Be grateful and meet them with respect. Try and do at least 3 each. Continue as long as you want.

  • You are finished! But are youuuu? You'll be surprised at how much of a turn on this can be ;) I recommend carving out more then 10min to make room for a little sexy time if it leads to it.

How did it feel? Awkward, peaceful, miserable, lovely, inspiring, make your skin crawl in disgust? Ha, all are fair and real to you. Discuss it with each other! If you felt on the awkward/miserable end then be respectful of your partners feelings and tell them gracefully. If you felt lovely and they felt the bad feels, meet their feelings with respect and let them voice them. The one feeling the discomfort is the one who needs to get in touch with themselves more, so do not think the disgust is with you, it lies in their own insecurities. You guys will get on the same page shortly! Keep at it!

If you both felt awesome, well then, HELL YEAH! You may even find that your partner started looking like you during it. This is good-- it means you are connecting with their true self and your souls were intertwined seeing each other as equals on the heart level instead of just the physical level.

The arm positions create a flow of energy between your two bodies. The right hands raised above your heads are connected the the higher frequency and your souls intertwine and move in a circle through that energy and into each other's through the left arms. You become one soul -- hence making sure this is someone you are sure you want to connect this way with.

The goal is to do this consecutively. Think of it as a juice cleans and commit to 3 days in a row to start. Maybe some of you meditate? Then think of this as meditating with your partner. There is always 10min to spare in a day. Relationships are sacrifice and this is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Also, if it could repair something you thought was destined to fail, you may be sad you didn't try it sooner. You can certainly add minutes to the 5 min and add affirmation time as well - the longer, the better! Get creative and make this unique to your relationship and hopefully it becomes something you both look forward to.

Happy love connecting to you all! Let me know how it went for you guys!